25, I have half as much time invested with Mr. Fantastic as you had with your ex, and weird things catch me from time to time. Like, a picture of one of my kids as a baby, with his left hand (wearing wedding band) in the picture, balancing the baby. That sight was SO familiar to me and it woke up a sadness that I thought had gone away. Because, what a stupid ending, you know? Here we had this enormous familiarity together, experiences together that neither of us will ever have with anyone else (like the births of our children) and he had to poison them with this clumsy, selfish, abusive stupid ending.
So, four years after he moved out, I don’t wake up crying anymore, he rarely moves me to tears (and only because we still share young children), but yeah, there’s a well of sadness with his name on it and I don’t expect that to go away ever.
On the other hand, because of his choices, I get to make some big decisions of my own, and have the freedom to reinvent my life in a way that makes me happy. Just like you’re doing with the plans to move abroad! So when you wake up from a nightmare or are troubled by all this, remember to thank him for liberating you to this great adventure.
So excited to hear you’re doing stand up again!!!
(((25)))
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
