WW moved out. Whirlwind of emotions

[reframe]

Maika:

- To GAL:
I'm pursuing my non-work passion (climbing) as much as possible, and trying to keep busy and expand my social circle. I have a few home projects as well that take a fair amount of time.

- Reason the MR Failed:
The first post on my thread has a pretty through recap of the troubles.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2774115

Things I could have done better:
- I could have been less emotionally attached to sex. I could have pouted less when she wasn't interested.

- I could have been more supportive when she was sick. I tried to support her, but not always the way she needed. I did at times question and invalidate. I did try to push her (I thought I was being supportive, but she didn't take it that way).

- I could have been less focused on pursuing climbing, and more on the enjoying the moment.



Things she could have done better:
- She could have CONSISTENTLY tried to work on things. She claims the she "Gave and gave for years, and I just took" . It seems to me (and most outsiders) that she would try sporadically, but never make a sustained effort.

- Along these lines, right after our first fight/bomb drop she bough some books on mindfulness in relationships, but she never actually READ them (I did).

- she could have communicated her needs better. IF she had said "I'm scare, please stay with me" when she was sick, I never would have left her. She thinks she was a blunt and open communicator, but often she wasn't.

- She could have taken more responsibility for her actions. A recurring them in our relationship was that everything was my fault.



My game plan:
Take care of the dogs.
Climb as much as possible.
Expand my social circle and meet as many people as possible.
Start saving money very aggressively again (I want to retire early)

At some point I'll want a partner, (I miss having an adventure buddy, I miss sex after 6-12 months of living in a dead bedroom), but I'm NOT ready to date anyone yet.