WAW was visibly angry that I would be staying somewhere that she did not approve of.
The more her family members are pulled into your marital problems, the more likely you'll have drama. Her siblings should not be taking "sides", b/c they are her family. It will naturally go against the grain for her to see them supporting you. Your M problems turn into their family problems......and it's like a snowball getting bigger.
I don't know why she got so angry. My first guess would be that she didn't want you staying with her family members. However, you will be staying in her house with her parents when it's your turn to be with the kids.........so who knows why?
My second guess is that she wants full control over this situation.......where you stay when you aren't with the kids, when you can see the kids, how long you see the kids, and where you stay while seeing them. With her parents there, it's almost like having supervised visitation.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thank you, Sandi. WAW offered and agreed for me to stay at siblings house, but she did not like it when I was going to stay there other times even though the sibling said it was ok. Yes, control is what seems to be the theme. You’re spot on. What I also don’t understand why so much anger. I’m agreeing to not fight any filing when she wants to and basically to the visitation schedule she proposed.
Struggling to detach when the kids are involved. Call each night to talk to the kids and she is there holding the phone. Get photos of the kids from her each day. My hopes raise when I happen to check my phone and it s a text from WAW. Does she send photos just to be nice or to remind me that she s there? I should not read into it but it s hard not to.
Last edited by Cadet; 05/12/1806:01 PM. Reason: restored post
Hi Sandi. Thanks for checking in. For some reason my posts were not coming in; hence the blanks. Been hard to detach because I FT the kids each day and she answers. She also sends me photos each day of the kids so it does not help, because I interpret it as her saying hi. Seems like a giant mind game.
Thanks Sandi. Any advice when WAW does not greet me or say goodbye when I see her but her family does? I want to call her out on this because she is friendly when we talk in between.
I would not initiate texts. Let her text you first. But then validate only. See Cadet's link on validation.
Now there may come a time when you need to go No Contact and at that time you may not even respond to her texts. But that is for LRT and that will come later for you if needed.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
