No affair, no feelings...is there hope?

[44tries]

The reality of the situation is that she's lost respect for you. To her you're just a dependent wimpy guy and she's trying to unload you as fast as possible.

You should have a plan for yourself. She won't have to approve of the plan because it's your plan and it's for you. You should plan to get a job and support yourself on your own without her. Continue your education. Continue your growth as a person, and move on.

What you're currently doing isn't working and it's not going to work because you're swimming against the current.

Are you saying that you think I should move out? This is something I am still struggling with. I don't want her to force me out, but I don't want to stay for the wrong reasons and create bad blood at the same time. I need to figure out how to balance the fact that she has lost respect for me and also not be difficult. There is no perfect scenario, but I still think staying here is undoubtedly best for me logistically. Emotionally, maybe it isn't. I can get an emergency job here (currently in the works) and save some money and have a cushion to support myself while I search for a real one when I move back stateside. Otherwise, I would have to take a more permanent job that I don't really want (which would take time as well) or stay with family until I have the skills I need to get hired in my new field.

I am trying to stand up for myself by not just letting her push me into running home to mom and dad, but half the time I still wonder if staying is the right choice. You say what I am doing is swimming against the current, but I'm not exactly sure which "what I'm doing" you are referring to.

I know that I need to open the cage and take all pressure off her. She needs to be truly free. The question is whether this is possible while I'm still physically here. She has her doubts. I think if I can air-tight my non-pursuit and detachment, it could be. But it will be harder and maybe the whole process speeds up if I'm gone.

Back to the respect issue, what I really want to know is what is the strongest action I can take that will make her have the most respect for me possible? This is the question I am asking myself and trying to answer. I think the answer will also be what is best for me.