RR17, I feel you brother. I too am not wishy-washy at all. But I oscillated bad especially in the beginning. It was about 2 month in that I started to stabilize, but I still (as evidenced in this thread) will have a bad thought. I think it is part of the process. I think that when a spouse breaks trust, it is difficult to get past that completely for a longtime. I feel like I've differentiated a lot especially in the last month or so. Yet unexpectedly I'll get that dreaded feeling wondering if she is doing something I don't know about. It can be maddening. Luckily it is fewer and farther between and has a shorter duration when it does happen.
Hang in there man. I have no advice, and I am not even sure that my advice is that good when I give it. But what I can offer is support. That there are those of us out here that can relate, and that are rooting for you, and that can see the value in you as a H, father, and person!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
