I fully respect you trying to the "right" thing. But mirroring her I think is only doing what you feel you are supposed to do.
Gordie, what will make you feel good? You mirroring her actions is attachment. How about you lead with what feels good and right to you?
Like JOb said, you need to take care of you. I think you spend so much time trying to do what you feel you are supposed to do, and in that you become wholly attached and lose yourself.
Take this as a time to find and nurture Gordie. Feed your soul.
