Jim, hopefully when everything is done and settles down your wife will appreciate your fairness and will start to better see her own role. Someday she must reconsider at least once or twice. Like, "Did I make the right decision? Am I really happier now that Jim is gone?" Not that you're waiting for that to happen, but it's always nice to be optimistic and think your original wife is hiding in there somewhere.
It would be nice to think she appreciates my fairness, that she might reconsider, and the "real" W is in there somewhere, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm not sure why, but complete detachment seems harder for me than for many on this forum, and I think it's because I'm holding onto the hope that what you say is true. I think it makes the whole process harder. I think you might be dealing with the same problem.
A new issue I'm dealing with is my D16 lying to me about completing her homework. When I confronted her about it, she said "How else will I get to do what I want to do?" As you can imagine, that didn't go over well. The problem is that an hour afterwards, it was time to go over to W's house. I told W about it and what I thought should be done, punishments, etc., but doubt she'll follow through.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
