A familiar story with questions. IV

[RR17]

The weight of my problems has really pressed down on me the last 20 or so hours. Depression leads to insomnia. Insomnia leads to depression.

Modern teaching says acknowledge your feelings. Modern teaching says to focus on the good and pick yourself up. I guess it is possible to do both, but it is exhausting.

We often give better advice than we practice. I know I often do.
No, I don't have any confessions today.

Is this looming deadline the cause of my distress or just my excuse?

Much of the time I feel comfortable with her moving out. I have rationalized that much of her problems are just that, her problems. I expect that regardless of what happens, she will realize this and try to return. Perhaps I'll be here for her.

I oscillate with the idea of having a pragmatic meeting regarding her plans. Mentally and emotionally preparing myself to respond and not react, regardless of what she says.
There are many practical and financial factors at play.

Then I decide that I should not. A couple of days later it starts again.

I'm not a wishy-washy man and this oscillation is not my typical MO. I don't like it.