I think I know that... and this is my problem. I love him and I feel awful for him. He is emotionally crippled and he does not see it. I want to be there for him, but he won't let me. I know that no matter what happens, I will be fine. I'm not so sure about him.
I understand you. True love is unconditional; no matter what our partners do, we still want to love them and it is hard to let go. No matter how bad it feels, letting go is a must for you. You can't fix him and fixing him is not your job to do. He has to want to get better all by himself and this realization might take while or never happen at all. Detach yourself and concentrate on getting your degree. Utilize it completely by making new friends and possible contacts for your career
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He hasn't grown. He shrunk. He used to read, watch documentaries, go to museums, go to concerts, hike, play video games, play D&D, experiment with awful baking recipes, etc. Now all he's interested in is gym, beer, phone games, texting with his buddies, YouTube videos, and comic books. He didn't substitute these interests for his old ones - his old set included both.
This sounds a lot like depression. I know this because I was heavily depressed too and I did the exact same thing. Things that really sparked my feelings up did not feel good at all anymore and I could spend hours watching random useless YouTube videos always searching for that next "big thing" that gives me the "rush" of feel-good. In fact, quite a bit of it is documented on my thread - I was feeling REALLY low around a half a year ago. Only when I PERSONALLY realized what I was doing, what I was feeling and WHY, I could conquer it. I could share it properly and bring my defenses down to appreciate the help I was getting. I did not know about my defense mechanisms without outside help.
Bottom line is that you can't say anything that would bring him back to his senses. By trying to convince him anything, psychology tells that you are only likely to cement his views or feelings. He resents you because he thinks you are the issue. He HAS to want it himself, not convinced or forced by someone else. Don't take it personally and understand that it isn't likely something he chooses directly. It is hard to understand but work towards it - it will help you in your life by teaching you how to set yourself in someone else's shoes regardless of the situation.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
