Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Hi Sandi

How did you learn about her conversation with her client?

That is part of my inlet - in this way i found out my W is WW not WAW. I can listen some of her convo. If you want to know exactly how, will write in PM. This way of snoop keep me on track to not bye her niceness and other behavior, that mess my head ....if she come out of fog.

I hope you will not care what she says to her clients or friends. You know what is real and true. You know you are not a bad person. You do not have to prove you are good.........just be yourself.

Thanks Sandi, of course i do not pay attention for other opinion, just i am wondering why she need to do this ...

Yesterday, at the evening WW come from work, i was promise my self to not show any emotion, due to her convo with the client. So be it,
I was made some dinner, when she come i just said Hi, she was chatty, said some things about her day, i was very short like (yea sure, very good and other respond like this), she was eating on the coach in front of her PC. OM start to FB chat, it was obvious to her that i seeing, and she answer him, then thy contentious to chat for a wail. I already was in mental/emotional stable condition, so i start to think what to do, about the situation.
I went to the bathroom to wash my teeth, i was thinking to go out of the house, but it will look like more like reaction to her chat, than like my GAL.
I went on balcony, to smoke, i did not look at her when i pass living room, after a wail she come on balcony to smoke too, she try to talk to me, i answer with yes/no, without looking at her. When i finish my cigarette, i went to wash my teeth again and went into bedroom. She come write after me in bed. She start asking some question about kids day, what they eat, whit hum they play and thinks like this ....i answered with one/two words. I was thinking to tell her not to speak to me, but decide to not do it - it will not bring any benefit, only will show my emotional condition..

Today in the morning i woke up, empty ...like there was not filings but calmness, i went to make coffee for me (normally will make coffee for her as well, this time i did not), purposely avoid her when i was smoking on balcony. She tried to join me on balcony, but i went in when was ready with my cigarette.
So got ready and prepare leaving for work 30 min earlier, i told her bye, she ask are you living (like it is early), i answer yes.
Right before i was leaving she ask, am i going to take the garbage, i answer NO, wright before i closed the door, she asked why i am not going to take the garbage, i answer because o do not have free hands, and left. (normally i am doing this without asking, or when she asks i am doing it, does not matter if i have free hands or not
This time i wanted to leave, i couldn't even look at her.

So, i will do nothing about recent situations. Will be as distant as possible, and look after my flat (my moving there gives me co much confident), i see this as freedom, to deal looking at my wife at the evenings .....
Something to add, after our R talk some days ago (it was initiate by her), she was convinced, that i want to leave her because she was not behaving like real woman and wife with me, and her interaction with OM was just a casual and i use it as reason ...., she was telling this to her friend/client yesterday (not the same, but the plot was like this, that i may be have OW and need reason to leave my wife/family), all this regarding my stands, that i will move i our other flat, because of her behavior.
So it is look like to others that i am dumping her, it is look likes she convincing her self the same. She hardly gaslight me about her relation/interaction with OM, i am not buying this anymore.
Be with me

will write soon