All, I finally got to go to the house to gather my stuff on Saturday night. My husband wasn't particularly nice. There is some high tech electronic lock on the door and security system now so apparently even if I had wanted to go alone it wouldn't have been possible. My husband showed my daughter and I around and the place looks just beautiful now that the renovations are almost done (it's a new house but he ripped out the interior and started over).
It was difficult to see that's where I could be living and to imagine how wonderful and perfect life would be if we could be together there as a family. On the way out, my daughter asked in her innocent voice, "Daddy, why aren't we allowed to live in this house?" My husband said, "I'm going to come and live in your new city too." He didn't really answer her question, but he told me that night he's going to sell the house and move to our city. I don't know when that'll happen and I don't know how I feel about that. I thought I was moving on, starting over far away, and now my husband will be there too.
It's nice if my husband wants to be close to our daughter. It would be better for all of us to be together in the same city. My husband's family also lives near that city so perhaps he feels he should be closer to them. Or maybe he realizes that living alone in a huge mansion doesn't make sense.
In any case, I couldn't help it. I was in tears as we got in the care after hearing my daughter's question and after seeing the house again. Ten years ago we dreamed to reach this point of having a stable life with a house and child and now my husband threw it all away.
Yesterday it was my daughter's birthday party. My husband came but he looked miserable and was unengaged. He was staring at his phone most of the time and wouldn't speak to me. When I would try to approach him he'd give me an angry look and then he left early.
Then today we had the moving truck come and I needed some extra money and my husband was so mad that he had to send more.
This was after things had gone well for a while. I think our visit to the house did something to my husband. He was obviously stressed or felt guilty or was just annoyed by it.
Tomorrow night or Wednesday morning my daughter and I will leave. My husband is supposed to meet us at our new place on Friday morning. We'll see how he acts then, but if it's not good then I'll ask him to leave.
I did learn that both my daughter's teach and my gastroenterologist (who is also my husband's friend) have talked with my husband about what's happening. I wonder if either of them persuaded him to hold off on the divorce?
The only good thing I found at the house is there's no sign of another woman living there. I could tell by how stuff was thrown all around that it was just my husband there...it would be especially cruel to find that another woman was living in our house. I'm glad that it's most likely not the case. There's already enough to be upset about.
I have so many mixed feelings about my husband's plans and about what will happen in the next year or two. I have one special friend who keeps calling or writing every day trying to help and that person will visit when I get to the new city this weekend. At my daughter's party I also felt a lot of sympathy and support from my friends there. This forum is great because we're all going through similar situations but real life support is also invaluable.
