Ok, so an update. Had a nice weekend with the kids. I did miss her, but we had a good time. I was a bit tense and withdrawn, but after listening to my kids - they've been stuck at home the last 3 weeks doing barely anything (my wife is a homebody).
My wife won't even look at me, let alone talk to me, or even text with me, other than to coordinate pickups and drop-offs.
I am apparently someone she wants nothing to do with. I'm still getting used to this obviously. I guess I shouldn't have told her she's being a selfish bitch and that I wanted 50/50 custody because that seemed to create this situation that I am now in.
She's talking to Domestic Violence Advocates and trying to get free legal advice. I'm confused what I should do?
Should I just get my lawyer to file? She obviously wants to be free of me. Should I make it quick? Should I just enjoy the time and space, since I don't want this.
Almost assuredly there is no other path than divorce. She has labeled me "abusive". While it's never been physical, I've been controlling and coercive. What is there to save?
No one can around me can give me any good advice. They say to talk to her, text her, try and have a straight up conversation. It's not happening, she won't let it.
So, what do I do? File first? I feel like I should do it, because that's what she wants and feels is best for her life. I also feel like I'm getting blame still for unhappiness.
Maybe I'm still trying to control the situation. I told my divorce lawyer I need time for her to communicate with me and decide if we can work this out amicably.
Since she completely refuses to talk to me, I guess there is no hope?
Take a deep breath. These things are roller coaster rides. Sounds like she is miffed about what you called her and your demand at equal custody. Par for the course. This is why you should try to control your outbursts because they will always make things worse not better. Ok, do better moving forward, but you can't take it back this time so don't dwell on it.
The Domestic Violence Advocacy is a ploy. Likely they will be privately laughing at her. Those folks deal with people that are almost killed by their Hs, so her calling them and saying "He called me the B word!" will be something they really don't care about. Her free legal advice will be "He's never touched you? You need to hire a divorce attorney if you want a D."
But seriously, just slow down. She will eventually come around and want to talk. Give her the time and space she needs to figure out that she needs to discuss things with you. And then remain in control. WWs/WASs are notorious for trying to irk their Hs into doing something they can use. Don't take the bait.
Thank you Steve! It's only been 2 weeks since BD. This roller coaster ride of emotions has me all over the board. I am doing the right actions now. But underneath it all is a storm of emotions. Thank you for the feedback and advice. Truly appreciated.
