First post, need someone to listen

[MoveFrwd]

Ok, so an update. Had a nice weekend with the kids. I did miss her, but we had a good time. I was a bit tense and withdrawn, but after listening to my kids - they've been stuck at home the last 3 weeks doing barely anything (my wife is a homebody).

So why are you tense and withdrawn? That seems like odd behavior around just your kids. How are you working through that?

I guess I shouldn't have told her she's being a selfish bitch and that I wanted 50/50 custody because that seemed to create this situation that I am now in.

UH. NO. You shouldnt have said that.
Though I think fighting for 50/50 custody is reasonable and a great thing.

She's talking to Domestic Violence Advocates and trying to get free legal advice. I'm confused what I should do?

Protect yourself. I dont think you need to do anything offensive. But how can you defend your reputation and rights? If that means filing, then maybe it's the best choice. But otherwise, I dont know that you DO anything.

Should I just get my lawyer to file? She obviously wants to be free of me. Should I make it quick? Should I just enjoy the time and space, since I don't want this.

On TV, this is where someone would smack you. Stop trying to 'solve' something and just BE. Focus on whats important - you and your kids.

Almost assuredly there is no other path than divorce. She has labeled me "abusive". While it's never been physical, I've been controlling and coercive. What is there to save?

So now would be an excellent time to learn:
1) why you might have acted that way...
2) how to prevent those actions from cropping up in your next relationship...

No one can around me can give me any good advice. They say to talk to her, text her, try and have a straight up conversation. It's not happening, she won't let it.

What exactly does she need to tell you that you dont already know?

Since she completely refuses to talk to me, I guess there is no hope?

Pshhhhh. Talking will only really hurt you right now.
Take the time and actually do something about who you are. Focus inwards and on your kid. When we say this is a marathon and to be patient, we are talking months/year....not days or weeks. Youre just setting off on your journey. Stop trying to control the outcome.