A familiar story with questions. IV

[SteveLW]

Loneliness is more of a symptom than a cause. Rooted in the unhappiness they feel in the MR. I've never heard a spouse, regardless of their childhood, saying hey are "lonely" within a happy, healthy MR. So no, I don't think it has to be addressed, I think it is naturally alleviated as the R unfolds.

The unhappiness they feel in the MR is more a symptom than a cause. IMO
As long there is no abuse, each partner is responsible for much of their own happiness.

True. I meant the unhappiness is the cause of the loneliness. But yes, you are right, however most spouses aren't differentiated (look up differentiation) enough to realize they are responsible for their own happiness. All the WAS/WW knows is that she is unhappy, and therefore it must be her H's fault. It usually isn't until years later when they are unhappy with a new H that they start to realize it might be something more.