And still struggling

[Jim1234]

Nicole, I don't have any idea why she wouldn't want to file jointly and get a little extra money back, but in the long run, after talking to my lawyer, it's to my benefit to file separately.

It seems you're doing the right think by letting her go and not trying to reconcile at this point, but it's just too bad your wife doesn't want to put in the hard work to get her act together, save the marriage, and make her life better. You have no control over that. You seem to be doing what's fair financially and cooperating well. All of your actions sound appropriate.

The nice thing about time and distance is it's helped me realize I don't want to be married to the woman my wife became any more. That realization makes it a lot easier to let go. I'm not saying "easy", but "easier". I still have times that I wish things were different.

I'm still trying to do right by her, and be fair, because, after all, I have to live with myself afterward. I appreciate that you think my actions sound appropriate.