my most humble opinion; noticed your brief of the time when bomb dropped, it was back in 2016, I'm very sorry but sincerely want you to be reminded, I don't think she is ready in stepping out from her crisis... I'm sorry, but this truly requires great deal of patience and sometimes they move forward so slowly, there is a chinese slang 'one step forward and two steps backward...' I don't think they are playing games, it's just there are too much problem/feelings deeply buried inside of their minds and hearts, they just don't have the abilities to have them all solved at the moment. They need time...
I have no intention to discourage you by saying those, instead, I want you to be encourage, don't lose heart and maybe try to focus more on yourself and your own life. so sorry I forgot by it was by whom -> love your midlife spouse but with distance (HB maybe ?)
