JaseP, what you’re going through is very difficult and painful. What you are feeling is perfectly normal.

Being sleep deprived, depressed, having no appetite, etc... are all normal responses. Hang in there JaseP you will get through this.

Please listen to Gordie’s advice, I would tell you the same thing he did. I have been right at the edge ... it is a very dark place. The pain will subside, I promise you.

Heed the caution of listening to family, friends, therapists, etc... You should definitely reach out to people who love and support you. However, these same people do not want to see you suffer and will offer advice to “help” you get better as quick as possible. They mean well but may not align with your own feelings and desires. Advice is just that - advice. You make the decision, that goes for here and IRL.

My first and only IC, after telling her what happened at BD, told me to dump W and get a divorce. That was 10 minutes into the session. I was not going to do that. We didn’t see eye to eye on too many issues, always the quick fix. Anyhow, she fired me, asked me not to come back, after session four. I stayed true to who I am and how I feel - best decision I made.

In my experience almost everyone IRL will not understand what you are going through. How could they, until this happened to me I couldn’t imagine what I have gone through and what has happened. Here, people understand. I found it so helpful, I think you will too.

This is going to take some time. Know it will get better, YOU will get better. Remember that.

Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.