It's been another up and down week for me. I've been doing a lot of digging into myself. Not an easy task, by any means.
First, let me just say that I am NOT a fan of the MeetUp website. I know it's supposed to be for people to get together with other individuals for activities (hiking, yoga, mommy groups, etc.). I found a separation/divorce support group. Then I received a PM from another member of that group, like he was using it a dating website! Deleted my profile immediately. I want NO part of that.
Second, H is going back to work after 4 weeks laid off (he works heavy construction, just nature of the business during the winter). But his union called him to work for a different company (national company this time, instead of locally owned). So he will be working 12 hour nights, 6 nights a week, about 2 hours away. They want the crew to stay locally during the job, so I'm kind of doubting we'll see him much at all (kids included) for the next 3 months. We're meeting tomorrow to go over logistics before he heads to job site tomorrow evening.
I went to Celebrate Recovery with my oldest friend last night. It seems to be a good place for me to express my fears, faults, worries, etc, in an anonymous setting. Many of the women in the group, when they were talking, I swear could have been me up there.
I have also decided that I'm not going to be doing any more activities with the SIL's if it's a drinking/bar hopping thing. It's not me. I did reach out to a coworker that I like, told her I'm working on GALing (I used different terminology with her, lol), and we've always gotten along well, would she like to hang out outside of work. So 180 for me, I reached out to make a new FRIEND.
I have been writing in my journal a LOT more this week. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place. Hopefully the writing will level out some more.
Still haven't gotten to the postcards though. I will pick some up after work Monday.
Me-44,H-44 S21,S19,S17,D13 M-22,T-29 (off and on prior to M) BD:12-20-17 (H said he had things to work out in his head) H moved out:3-4-18
