I had no idea what a MLC was until now...

[job]

Jase,

I would not "force" her to move into the guest bedroom. I would allow her to make that decision herself. You are coming across as an "authority figure, i.e., a dad to her. You don't want her to look at you that way.

The more you attempt to control her or sway her to your thinking, the more she will pull away. I hate to say this because you aren't ready to hear it...but you need to treat her like a roommate. Listen, validate and affirm her thoughts when she talks to you. If she asks for your opinion, then give it...otherwise, sit quietly and the answers will come.

As for the affair, they don't look at affairs the way we do. They look at them as just being friends and f@ck buddies and nothing more. She's a teenager right now and teenagers do not know the meaning of true love and how deep it runs w/people.

I would suggest that you not seek her out for conversations. Treat her like a roommate and go about your business. Discussions about the kids, bills, etc. are okay. Just leave her be...allow her to figure things out and yes, you need to dig really deeper for patience because you are dealing with a teenager who is out there searching for her inner self.

The crisis will not end today, tomorrow or next week and it could take years. While she is on her journey of self discovery, you are on one too and that means focusing on yourself and your kids. Do some of the things that you've put off doing, this is a good opportunity to start doing more w/the kids and no, you don't always have to invite her along. Go out for coffee and you don't have to tell her all of your business as to where you go and what you are doing. Be a bit mysterious. Make her wonder and miss you.

As for the kissing...your w doesn't know what she wants. She's bouncing between two worlds and trying to figure things out. Patience and more patience are need now.