The weekend when he decided he wanted a divorce, he was nice and amiable and we parted on good terms. He even told me to text him when I get back to town where I'm going to school.
Since then, he has been a complete ogre. He avoids me. He doesn't talk to me.
Setting boundaries with him has been a mixed success. On one hand, he does what I ask. On the other hand, he just acts angrier towards me.
Yesterday, we went and got a rental car for his work trip. He insisted on getting a BMW instead of an economy car. Even after all the discounts, it still worked out to double of what the economy would have been. He was so happy. He was smiling, laughing, and he even forgot himself and called me "babe." A part of me felt really grossed out. The Army will not reimburse the rental costs. This is over $300 out of our pocket. And a BMW? Really?
By the time I got home from Yoga, he was once again an ogre. And... I just lost it. I was so bloody angry at him. I told him something like: "Look, I get it, I do. You have a mental illness. I am happy to be supportive. I am there for you. But you will NOT talk to me this way. I don't know if it's depression, midlife crisis, or both. But you know what? My mother has this issues and I did not put up with this $hit from her and I am not about to put up with it from you. Check your ugly attitude, paint a smile on your face, and act like a normal human being. I have been nothing but cordial, kind, and understanding. If you want to talk to someone the way you talk to me, try your friends who don't care enough about you to actually spend time with you. When you talk to me, you will talk the way you do to people who outrank you."
He tried protesting with comments like "I talk to everyone that way," "what did you read every brochure at the hospital or something," and some other such nonsense. I ignored all of it and kept on plowing through. He seemed very subdued after that. He asked that I wake him when I go to bed so that he can go sleep on the recliner downstairs. I did. He wasn't grumpy or anything. He wasn't sure what was going on at first, so, I asked "do you still want to go downstairs?" He said "yeah, it will be easier." I wished him a good trip and he told me to sleep tight.
I don't know whether he has to actively remind himself that he must behave like an ass or whether my tirade had an effect, but his attitude seems to have adjusted at least temporarily.
I won't be home next week. I have school-related stuff on the weekend. So, we'll be apart till late evening of the 18th. I doubt I'll hear from him by call or text - he has made a point not to contact me.
He wanted this. I haven't been clinging. Why the anger? Why the attitude? That's what I don't get.
Me: 28 H: 30 T: 9 M: 7
WAH: First half of 2017. Round 2 started in Spring 2018.
