Well the divorce is final and the house is sold. I have a new place I'm renting for myself and my son. I got none of the good furniture and she left me with a mess to clean up in the house. Anyways. It is over and done.
Some days are still better than others, but the pain is less sharp. It's more like getting slapped than getting stabbed in the heart, although I do have moments where I zone out. Very similar to the PTSD I used to experience before. Overall, it took WW four months to divorce me. I did not put up a fight in court or argue over petty crap. I took it on the chin and pushed forward with my own life.
People coming to this site will read my story as a failure, but it's not. This D was a huge personal success for me. If you read my history and see how lost and emotionally destroyed I was 4 months ago, I am like a different person.
I am much more confident today than I was when the bomb was dropped on me. I have more time for my boy. I have more time and money to do the things I want to do. I have a great place and a great truck now. My job is going very well. Am I happy? No, not right now... but I can say that I absolutely know that I will be.
I did speak with WW on the phone not too long ago. She admitted to everything and apologized to me. She knows she was wrong. She told me that this was all about her and not about me. She isn't doing any of those things. The only thing she's getting that I'm not is sex (and that's only because I consciously don't want to while I'm healing emotionally). Everything else that I mentioned above she is lacking in her life.
Looking back, I often wonder if doing what I did was the right thing... the harsh NC. The DBing. All of that. Sometimes I wonder if my actions post BD were contributing factors, but they're not.
She was cheating on me. I don't have time for that. I deserve better. My son deserves better. (So does hers.)
I saw her accidentally about a month ago at the school. Fake hair. Fake nails. Fake tan. Fake everything. She is so plastic now. Maybe she always was? I almost did not recognize her.
Fck that crap, I want a real woman in my life. Someone genuine. Someone strong. Not this weak artificial and superficial person my wife developed into.
So, when it's all said and done... did I get her back? No. I did not get her back, but I did get something even more important.
I got ME back.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
