I am trying to get more time with them. Establish that I am the primary caregiver, as before all this I had the more flexible schedule and took them to school, picked them up, set up extra curricular activities, etc.
I am trying to rent a home that can accommodate us comfortably within 2-3 blocks of our marital home which my wife has completely assumed control of (changed locks). I need to show that I am a big part of their lives. My stbxw seems to want to limit me from them while telling everyone she wants me to be in their life, just on her terms.
I am working on me. Physical, mental, spiritual. I am alcohol free for the last 6 days. Taking it one day at a time.
Going to counseling every week to talk about my issues. Working on anger management, alcohol abuse, how I have acted inappropriately, how to fix myself, how to let go, how to be there for my kids during this tough time.
I am focused right now on being ready for mediation and communicating in a positive way with a stbxw that wants nothing to do with me and blames me for all her pain and sadness.
I am trying to stay positive and happy. Focus on the good in my life and be an example for my kids.
What am I missing here? I try not to focus on the why or the future. It's out of my control. Just me, right now...thats all I have. Doing my best with that.
