Touching back on the financial part. I have taken care of everything pretty much since we got together. She has no clue what it takes to financially run a budget. No idea on utilities, cable, cell bill, car insurance, registrations, pretty much everything! This is why she is totally in the dark, delusional, and kind of just out of it when it comes to this.
Almost all WWs are like this. Mine thought she was going to get a job, get an apartment, I'd keep the house (since my D loves our house and property), and we'd get a cheap, quickie divorce. Completely delusional and much in the same boat as your wife.
Over the last 3 1/2 months I and other things have burst her delusion bubble. She realized to make it she would need a real, 9-5 job (she has a degree but that would cut into her leisure time). She realized that 2 bedroom apartments in our area were not cheap (~$1300-2000/month). I told her I would be selling the house and giving her half of the equity (she was not happy about this as she knows it would be more churn on our D, on top of her parents Ding). And then I contacted a lawyer, which burst her $400, online D plan (which couldn't apply to us anyway since we have a child).
All of that took her from 100% moving towards D (I want out attitude), to 50/50 about 2 months in. Now she is 80% sure she wants to stay. From what I understand that last 10-20% will be difficult for her since in her mind it is "giving up the dream".
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
