My H1 died aged 33, at the time we were fostering one of his two younger sisters, I was pregnant and lost my little girl (she was still born). The grief was truly truly terrible. It was sudden and that makes it shocking, the unexpected part of it. Being unprepared.
I am telling you this because I thought I would never breathe again, never stop crying with pain. I still do sometimes but it's ok, today most of the time I recollect the love more than the pain. The grief cycle is complex to navigate. The world seems surreal and disconnected.
What has happened to you and lovely D is horrible. Unjust and like you I don't get it. It seems mean.
And you are more concerned about D than about you. Cautious about being a single dad, concerned and perhaps bewildered. East you are wonderful, everything you could possibly want in a dad. Know you are loved, that you have love even in grief.
It is awful and it hurts. It really doesn't matter than you were D, that you had conflict, you loved each other once and you love D. It is enough that you do because you do. That is a precious gift that you have, the gift of love.
I just wish I could make it all better. Just know I am sending you my rainbow strength in the next few days.
Much love to you and D
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
