Multiple EAs. At least one PA, but I think more than that. Bomb drop. Separation. False reconciliation. Agreed divorce that turned contested. Custody fight. Parental alienation.
And yesterday morning, she died in her sleep in OM's arms. I got a phone call at about 4:00AM. I know we don't post personal information here, but don't feel like that matters in this case. What can possibly come of it? I know Cadet will edit this if it's a problem. I just want you to know a little bit about her that I didn't write.
I don't know how to to feel. I'm sad. But I'm mostly numb. But I keep getting sadder. GF came over in the middle of the night, missed work, to be here for me, and for D once she woke up.
D is doing ok so far. She cried when I told her, but after about five minutes she was ok. I told her mommy was with mamaw, and that gave her peace. I know that this peace won't last. I know she's still processing. She was a normal kid running around with her cousins yesterday, playing, and laughing. Last night she started asking "why" questions. I think when she sees her mom on Saturday at the funeral it will really hit. I talked to her C. I talked to school (who made sure school C knows). I talked to her teacher. Grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, and friends' parents, and girl scout troop leader. She's going to get the support she needs from everyone. Everyone loves her. People I work with were emailing me saying if I ever need a babysitter, they'll watch her in a heartbeat.
My poor liittle girl lost her mother!! AGAIN!! FOR GOOD THIS TIME! WHY?????? WHY THE HELL DID SHE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS DIVORCE TOO??? And the end of this is that her mom is gone???
I thought I was a single dad. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT UNTIL YESTERDAY!
I read that divorce (and infidelity) are like having your spouse die, and having someone else walk around in their body. What do you do when that person dies, too?
This place has been my journal but I don't know how to write here anymore. I don't know that I will. "How are you doing, East, how's your sitch?" "Well, she's still dead, so..."
I saw myself in a lot of you. We made the same mistakes, and some of us did it together. Many of you helped me so much that I can never say "thank you" enough. You gave me great advice, even when I didn't take it. You gave me emotional support when I needed it. You hit me in the face with 2x4s when I needed those, too.
Thank you.
Last edited by Cadet; 01/11/1908:11 PM. Reason: remove link
