Can I really do this?

[Dtrmned]

Her and I have VASTLY different viewpoints on how this will work. She believes I should foot the fill for the rest of my life for almost any and all expenses for her lifestyle. We have lived well, I know there will be responsibilities on my part and I am fully willing to take the "hit" on what I need to. I really don't need much, my vehicle is a lease, after the financial crisis tried to keep my payment as low as possible so it is only 285/mo. My issue is the main parts of what she is thinking and the reality of it coming to her. I am very sad knowing that I will miss parts of my children's lives, this is a reality should it come to the full D.

Wife also believes that even after we D that if I make it back to where we were, that she is entitled to that as well. I see it as we were in this together, and if you decide to leave, that ends your benefit (pending what the agreement would end up looking like) and if I move on, move up, whatever that she is not a part of that.

Am I just wrong in that viewpoint or is she?
I'm in it and always have been for the long term. If she's all in, I'm good. If she's out, she's out. Kind of how a marriage works I think. Never perfect, but knowing each other is there is part of the package.

If our D was final tomorrow, I feel it would take a judge, a bunch of attorneys being paid a bunch of money and a lot of animosity (unfortunately). I mentioned that attorneys cost a ton (she now knows this based on her paying one to file and withdraw so I believe that is a good thing as the realization as to how much it might really cost her is in front of her). I also mentioned that I would rather make the agreement worthwhile, not pay attorneys and spread the money out to help her transition to her new life instead of fighting about it. She felt insulted by that. I thought it was a very good gesture on my part. Rather use the money for "us" than give it to an attorney and save the animosity right? Anyway, presently the math just doesn't work. I wish it could to get her out and away from the situation for just a little while so she could ponder, contemplate and do what is right for her.

I am not going to push either way unless I see anything to alarm me financially. I am giving her her time and space. I am not bothering her about her whereabouts (she doesn't go anywhere really). She is totally free to come and go as she pleases throughout the day while I am at work and the kids are at school. She has zero restrictions other than her health as to what she can/can't do. We were supposed to sit down and discuss boundaries early this week along with the financial stuff as this is what she wanted to do. But as of today, this has not happened.

Again, very difficult, but letting her have her space. Focusing on me and the kids, and still making sure that she is ok and if there is anything I can do for her.

Thanks again!