Can I really do this?

[Dtrmned]

Joseph,
So yes, presently the financial side is very difficult for me to navigate. I want to be sure that my family is provided for and all of the bills are paid, etc. I have asked my wife for a few months now to give me an idea of what she wants, what she expects, etc. I've shown her our budget, the bills, etc. When it comes down to it, there is not much left right now. We made it through the Financial crisis and are now back on our feet, but more like back to the starting line or a little ahead of that, but nothing like we were. I will get there. She decided to after she made her decision to open a separate account, filed, then withdrew the petition. When she did that, I moved my check to a separate account as well just to make sure that our monthly bills are taken care of. I have always been the one that pays all of the bills. We still have a joint account, although admittedly there is not much in there as again at the end of the month, there is not much left.

She got some help from her parents when she filed to retain an attorney so I have no idea if they are helping her at all. She is a sahm and has for the last decade had major health issues that she applied for ssi disability (was denied on 3rd appeal in February). NOW, she is getting her resume together and going to find a job. I fully support her doing this as I have always been supportive of her getting her own life outside of the home to enrich her own self-esteem, self-worth, etc. Well...example the week so far. Monday, bad health day. Tuesday, she had decent energy, but the pain made her stay home. Yesterday, she was exhausted, it takes her 2 hours on her heating pad in the morning to work up to taking the kids to school (a 15 minute drive each way). Then she had another bad spell. I got home at 530 after work, got my workout clothes on and went out for a run. Got back 45 min later and she was asleep on our bed for another hour.

How does she believe she is just going to jump out into the workforce and be able to do this with all the issues she is dealing with? As I said, I'm fully supportive of her. I have paid for her schooling for a few professions through the years. She is smart, engaging, intelligent, fun and would be an overall great person to be a part of any organization. BUT , we have the health issues. I'm looking practically at the situation. I pick up and run with whatever needs to be done when the health issues become too much, but how is she going to handle this when we actually separate?

A 40 hr a week job, the kids running from activity to activity, taking care of a home, and dealing with the health issues (most are debilitating and will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life). I don't want her to "settle" and think that she is "stuck" with no way out. In fact, I think that is the way she feels right now and the full impact hit her awhile ago as to her life, what she has done, expectations, etc. The MLC hit and now add in the WAW issue. I know she has a choice. I can't make it for her. This morning I got up, made her coffee (as I have for 21 years and I don't drink coffee), made the kids lunch, gave the kids a hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her to have a good day. This morning, she actually kiss my cheek as well. Not reading anything into that at all.

So here is what I'm thinking:
1. Presently there is not enough monthly income to "split" and adequately provide housing for the 2 households. There is definitely arguable positions on both sides as to what an equitable split would look like.
2. We are locked into a current least until the first part of 2019 so we can't reduce any of those expenses.
3. I don't know if I should push the financial stuff, or let her approach me. Again, I make sure the bills are all paid, groceries are in the fridge, etc.

IF (and unfortunately there isn't) any family here where we lived, I would suggest that she or I go stay there for a little while. I have suggested that she go to one of her parents for a little while and she flatly refused as she said she would not leave her children. I can't leave because I can't afford another place and I have to make sure I work everyday to pay our bills.

Kind of pushed in a corner, love and respect her fully and her examining her life and what she wants to do. Also, just making sure that we, as a family, are taken care of. There is nothing untoward in my behavior, so I appreciate all of your comments and look forward to more. Again, this is a slippery and sloppy ride that I don't want to be on so any thoughts and guidance is appreciated. I don't want to make the same mistakes (or new ones) that I did at first which only resulted in pushing her away. I want to be sure that within reason I am there for her every step of the way. We will always be in each other's live in some way for the rest of our lives.