My point is that I do not believe she has truly realized how damaging a divorce is to everyone on the financial side.
When women decide to leave their marriage it's a huge decision. It completely wrecks them emotionally. They don't -want- to leave, but they feel like the M has gotten so bad, that their H is so out-of-contact with their needs, that it's their last resort to find some semblance of happiness and they have no choice. They know they're setting themselves up for financial hardship, and it scares them. So yes, she realizes how damaging a divorce is. She certainly doesn't want or need you reminding her. Now let's go back and look at your original statement again:
Quote:
Kind of put it to my wife that SHE needs to tell our daughter that she can't do this since the impact of us not being able to do this is due to her decision (totally financial).
You need to understand she wants out of the M because in her eyes YOU have been a terrible husband. In her eyes you've neglected her physical and emotional needs. You haven't supported her through her illnesses. You've forced her to take this terrible step. In other words, it's all YOUR fault. And now you want to tell her that it's all HER fault and you wash your hands of the whole thing and want to leave her to the mess that "she's made". So how do you think that looks to her? Do you think she'll say to herself "wow he is the spouse only a fool would leave, this is a man of dignity and honor" or is she going to think "yeah isn't that typical, he just wants to blame me and make me do the hard work he doesn't want to."
So drop your desire to show her the hardships she's about to go through. THAT WILL NOT BRING HER BACK. How do you bring her back? Become the spouse only a fool would leave. What would the ultimate husband and father do in this case? In my opinion, he would find a way to pay for that class, not look for excuses not to pay for it to teach his wife a lesson.
