Well, I have to say that I was feeling a bit proud of myself for not trying to initiating sex the last several days. A couple times I felt it might have been expected.
Here's the dynamic that's at work- you've been DB'ing and removing pressure from her and as a result she feels more comfortable around you. But inside she still wants out of the M, she just doesn't feel the pressure to remind you all the time because you've backed off and seem OK with things. But you (like most LBS's do) have misinterpreted her increased comfort level to mean she wants recon (or maybe some sex), but no, that is not where she is at. So your sudden request kind of blind-sided her and she was probably surprised and yes, maybe even a little disgusted. Not so much at the thought of having sex, but just because she was feeling like things were going well because you've removed the pressure and now suddenly here you are applying pressure again.
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I went downstairs and asked why she answered in such a disgusted tone. W said she didn't know.
She probably didn't know why, but I suspect like I said above it's because you applied pressure to her after having done a great job of pulling back for so long.
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I explained that I didn't deserve it and that it had nothing to do with her not agreeing, but that I felt I deserved some consideration when being turned down. Like my feelings matter.
She's a WAS. As hard as it is, you've got to suck it up and accept that your feelings DON'T matter to her right now. All that matters are HER feelings. So you listen and validate, and you bite your tongue when you want to speak up about your needs not being met. Don't vent to her, vent to us. That's what we're here for.
