Dude, take her up on this. Get her out of there. That job was an enabler for her continued contact with him. It is a temptation she can't afford. And it is a temptation that you can afford to have removed. Plus it will call her bluff. Likely she offered to quit thinking you'd say not to.
If I may, I'd like to respond to Steve. Considering you are still very new here and are learning about WW's, I don't want you to think I am doing anything other than trying to help you understand an important point. It seems to be the nature of a LBS to see the OM/OW as the problem or threat to the MR. It's not that simple.
The problem existed before the OM or the doctor ever came on the scene. The problem is in the woman (in this case). If you'll read some of the history of this thread, you'll discover Jim's W has felt rebellious even before they M.........and has admitted she had issues wanting to commit to a relationship with one man. Jim has described her flirty behavior with men, and her "poor" boundary setting.....and apparently her lack of determining what is inappropriate behavior. This started before they M and has continued over the years.
Now, I said all of that to ask you a question. Where is the problem? If you are still looking at the job site or the city, look again. Don't they have hospitals in other locations? Aren't there other men, other jobs, other opportunities to be tempted in other locations? Is the answer to grab her and run for the hills every time she acts inappropriately or decides to cheat again?
I'm not against going to a new place, if that's what they both decide they want.........and they feel it would refresh them and give them a sense of newness. It may actually distract them for a short while. However, it is putting a lot of expectations in another place. I'm saying, moving to a new location won't fix her. Until she stops rebelling against the M......and against behaving like a M woman (or as she described, being a good girl), she will always have those temptations to be act like the "bad girl". . There is no getting around temptations, b/c the city is not the problem. The problem lies in her own mindset.
The way Jim described that little place about 3 hours away, sounds pretty much like my location. You know, where everyone knows you and are willing to help, etc? Well, guess what? We have a high rate of affairs and divorce, just like they do anywhere else. Only here, it's likely to be with someone you've known for years. Which is not so different from Jim's W having an A with his one of his best friends. See what I mean?
Fair enough. And I actually agree. However, if she is over the rebellion as HoosJim is hoping, a change in job to get her away from temptation would AND should be more important than the financial considerations involved. I guess Jim making the decision based on money just seemed a little short-sighted to me.
But the point is well taken. She is the problem. OM can and will come and go.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
