i am really glad you set some boundaries... and you need to follow through with what was not covered in the session... it is crucial that you not ease up on those...
i think it's weird that she would bring up how difficult it would be for you to be on the phone conversation when she tells OM to bug off... in any case, that would be your call... transparency is important, of course...
Accountability: I want her to finish the narrative and timeline of her contacts with Scott since last August, how she felt, etc. She had started doing this at Jessica's request last week, and I want to see the finished product. I also expect her to come clean about the beach trip last summer. Debating whether I should push her for a "Full Affair"
^^^this is really good... you have to know there was more to it than her reluctant office calls with OM... she had the Marco Polo app and so did he... you heard her "other" voice and sultry laugh when she was on the phone with him (or another man... but it was most likely OM)... you even said that sometimes when you would call her at work, she was too busy to take your call, but somehow you knew that she took his calls... something like that...
in any case--see????? it was not too late to state your terms... and you absolutely must follow through: girls' weekends, birthday getaway... etc...
i was so worried that you were not going to follow through with the boundaries... you gave her so much credit for doing the right things in the first couple of days...
There's more to the "moving away" than just re-setting our MR. I have talked about leaving this place before, from time to time. And even W did in the distant past before we became somewhat shackled to our jobs. (Try leaving government employment only four years from a vested pension and lifetime health coverage-- it's a powerful disincentive). We are both small-town transplants to the big city. I grew up on a farm in SW Va and she grew up in a dying steel town in Western PA. Our respective families are all very far away-- the closest are her folks at 5-plus hours. Mine are 600+ and 1000+ away, respectively. We have siblings but they are equally far away, or more. IOW we have no family support network nearby, and we both grew up in "close" families. For me, I often feel like this place is killing my soul. The outrageous cost of living (I could sell my house and buy two large houses not three hours south of here) traffic, the pace of life, the coldness and "Achievement Culture" of the residents. I visit my friend in a small town south of here, where everyone knows each other, are friendly with one another, help each other out etc etc. No traffic. No smog. Sun goes down in in fire over the mountains every evening.
you asked me why i suggested that H and our boys and i could/should just move away after he kicked me out of our home... i was desperate to change things up, to get him to take me back to put all this mess i made behind us... it would get us away from people and places that were associated with what i had done... it might show him that i only wanted to concentrate on US... on our family--the four of us...
some of the fun we used to have before my unfaithfulness was now tainted... whenever we would go to our regular fun hangouts, i had begun spending some of my time texting OM or WW BFF... it hurt H terribly... he began hating those places... i ruined everything with my WW behavior...
moving away would get us away from those places, and we could start anew...
