First post, need someone to listen

[Olya]

So, be honest, after everything you have done - the cheating, the name calling, the drinking - do you really have the right to ask that she support you and help you change?

Also, when did you start giving 100? Timing matters.

I'm here because my husband wants a divorce. My major crime in our marriage is being short-tempered and demanding. Yet, I'm doing my 180 without his help - I am not expecting it and I am not asking for it. Nor is he required to appreciate any changes that I make. It's just how the cookie crumbles.


And... now I'm going to have to be brutal with you. Sorry again.

The custody thing may be her way to get back at you. Happens all the time.

BUT

It also might well be an expression of her sincere belief that you do not belong around your children. Don't think about all the good times that you have with your kids and the times when you've been a great dad. Think about the times when you were gone, sleeping around, and calling their mother names. If your wife was to leave you and re-marry and her new husband behaved that way around your kids, would you want your kids around the new husband?

I am not telling you to sign away your custody. Not at all. I am telling you that you need to stop fighting about the children for the time being and you need to start showing that you are a stable and, more importantly, a positive influence on them.