No affair, no feelings...is there hope?

[44tries]

So, this looks like progress to me. At the very least, your wife is starting to realize that her decision will come with unpleasant consequences. Don't get me wrong, she may still go through the divorce. However, she is getting a better idea that it will not be a no-lose proposition for her.

I'm glad you think this is progress. The logic makes sense.

From my own situation (since I'm on round 2 at this point), let me caution you that words are also actions. Talking is an act.

Do not push her away. Do not pressure her. Do not expect those words to come any time soon. However, by the same token, do not let your guard down and think that everything is fine until she is willing to say something along those lines to you. Unprompted. You cannot force this and you cannot demand this.

Let me make sure I got your point. You're saying that if progress is made and she does things like come back to the bed, it isn't as important as when and if she decides to actually use her words and say she wants to try again? And until this happens, I need to remain vigilant in straddling the line between pushing/pressuring, not getting my hopes up, DBing, etc...is this what you meant?

Change of heart takes time. It will take you being a better person and it will take her realizing that grass isn't always greener on the other side. Both have to be genuine.

Perfectly stated. I can only control the me being a better person part and hope it makes the grass look nice and green on this side