Helena, this is a sad lonely situation for you. You sound really sorry for your mistake. It's not the end-of-the-world. The first time my husband cheated and he was sorry I was ready to forgive him and keep going. It was different though because even then he didn't want to say he loves me, sleep in the same bed again, spend time together, or normalize our life, so he obviously wasn't ready to re-commit. In your case you stopped and you didn't really do anything too terrible. It seems your husband has a chip on his shoulder and nothing you do can make a difference. I'm not sure about the wedding ring. I think that's a personal choice, but perhaps you'll want to wear it so no one can say you're out looking for a date or whatever. If anything though it's your husband who needs to look at himself and control his drinking and his way of talking to you! If you have other options you could end this marriage right now and try to rebuild your life. Otherwise you can detach and focus on your kids and just let time pass. You can try to learn how to stand up for yourself more in the meantime. It's hard because you and your husband have communicated this way for so long that this is what's normal for you, but time is already passing and you have the right to be treated well and forgiven. I wish there was a more straightforward, easy path to get through this!
