Your WH lying cheating scumbag ways are not your fault. His horrible choices show who he is. I have no truck with dirt bag cheaters.
Even if you were bald, picked your nose and ate it and put on 10 muffin tops, this is nothing to do with you. Not ever. If he wants to dip his wick in an OW that is him.
Of course we all have things to work on, for us. That is where your goals for you are a great way to start.
In an earlier post you kept saying I need to this and I need to that. Please don't, ok, he needs to stop cheating, you need do nothing.
Please use the word choose, I choose to X or y. So much more powerful to do.
So let's get your goals really honed to things you want to choose to do.
AS is great at this:
Lose 10 pounds in 2 months" IS a goal, and it's one easily tracked and measured. Or run an 8 minute mile by the end of two months and a 7 minute mile by the end of four months. So refine your goals:
"Consider a doctorate" Not a goal, you can "consider" it whenever. If your goal is to attain a doctorate then set that as a long-term goal and set some benchmarks in-between, such as "apply to college by Spring 2019" or whatever your plan is.
Yes absolutely. Use the active voice in the present tense and add emotion with a real reason.
Such as I proudly accept my doctorate and I made a brilliant application in May 2018. Look how far I have come to become a professor.
"Publish or do research or presentations" Better, but assign a deadline to that and be more specific.
I have written 10 amazing research papers in my chosen field and they were published to great accord.
"Eventually (8 months or so from now) possibly think about a new job" Thinking about it isn't a goal. You're probably already thinking about it. Maybe put "find a new job" on your long term goal list if it's 8 months out. Add benchmarks such as "investigate job options" with dates assigned.
I am outlining my goal job and matched my skills. I identify six companies I have sent my perfect CV to and I am now living my dreams.
"Get fit. Become a healthy weight and maintain it." Good. Now figure out how much you want to lose and set a deadline for it. If that deadline is 3 months out then set benchmark deadlines in between. For example- make "lose 20 pounds in 3 months" your goal and then break it down into weekly and monthly benchmarks.
"Find joy. Have fun." Not goals. Figure out what goals you need to achieve for those to happen. Maybe losing weight will make you happy, and taking your dog on nature walks will bring you some fun.
"Spend more time in nature." Be more specific, like "Take my dog for a nature hike twice a week."
"Develop my friendships." Be more specific. "Contact Sue, Lisa and Joanne and have lunch with each of them." Set dates for this.
----------------------' Over to you.....
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
