No affair, no feelings...is there hope?

[Olya]

I'm struggling with the same issue. How much is too much? This is the person paying the bills. Also, living together means that a financial hit will hurt both parties.

In my life, I am arranging for car rentals. I contact customer support to set up service for exercise equipment. I handle taxes, budgeting, and bills. He still comes to me about doing these things. What am I to do? Tell the boat to sink while I'm still on it?

Here's my suggestion. I doubt you'll like the consequences of her car running out of oil and messing up the motor - that is a major fight and money out of your joint pocket. Just change the oil and expect her to take it for granted.

As for the phone, tell her that she knows best and that, in your opinion, she should get something reliable. It's solid advice that lets her do whatever she wants. If later there is no money for you to go home early, then she will have learned a valuable lesson on budgeting.

But don't read too much into her requests. I doubt that right now they mean anything.