I am sure you are frustrated reading about it but I am 10 times as frustrating living it... But beating me up for 13 paragraphs worth is not doing me any good.
Which is why I am looking for suggestions. How can I salvage the situation, here?
Walking out again?
I'm serious. I mean, maybe it comes to that. I'll look like kind of a dick because she's not doing anything wrong right now... I mean, really, she's like the completely devoted, not giving me any s**t, doing everything right, changing everything, perfect W... but maybe that's needed? It is what I am pretty sure the MC intended, for us to be apart for a bit longer and for her to sort of broker the boundaries and preconditions (several of which she mentioned are also ones Sandi2 and Artista have said are necessary) for us to get back together.
if you must, get your C to help you relay your boundaries/requirements for reconciliation if you are not strong enough to do it on your own... NOW!!!
this has nothing to do with your W doing "everything right," at this point... of course she is... she sure as he77 better be doing every thing right... you have to go ALL IN on your boundaries/requirements... no negotiations... that's it... and you have to give her time to decide if she is willing... and none of this from her, "but i can't give up BFF--she is my only friend." "but i have to go on my bday weekend--my friends have already paid for it..." and none of this from you, "i can't take BFF away from her--she's been doing everything right."
secondly--STOP GIVING YOUR WIFE CREDIT FOR REACTING the way she has... you absolutely cannot trust that she is doing everything right for YOU... she is doing things for herself... she is not changed... this is her opportunity to change... but it has not happened BECAUSE SHE HAS NOT DONE THE WORK YET!!!!!!!!!!!!! get that in your intelligent mind... THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE... now do the work... take off those rose-colored glasses... those glasses have lead you to see your wife doing everything right... being a good wife... seriously? how???? in a few days she is now a good wife? hoosjim!!! stop it!
and sex right now is not the way to keep you connected... it's the way to muddle things... you just made it more difficult by allowing this... on a side note, i have to agree with DonH... i knew when you sent that message about staying away for the weekend what you were going to do... like i said--human nature... nothing new under the son... it's called human nature for a reason...
anyway, you are already letting her call the shots... what she was attracted to--you jumping into that Uber--that is already diminishing... and you have yet to tell her what you expect should reconciliation take place... she is where she wants to be, and you are where she wants you to be... if this were a competition, she is winning...
okay--no chickening out of relaying your conditions for reconciliation... get to it at your next MC if you cannot do it on your own... which is okay... in fact, at this point, because things are now muddled, it's probably best to have MC lead that discussion... and do not back down, cave in, etc...
