I am not taking all of the blame. I desperately want us to be together, but I also know than an absolute I have if we are going to move forward is for him to be able to communicate better and engage in productive conflict. A large part of how things got to be where they are is because he didn't express frustrations, process stress or emotions, and did everything in his power to avoid "hurting my feelings" for years, in some cases. That won't fly with me anymore. He's already doing better in expressing frustrations -- which is good. But nope.
I'm clear that I want us to be together and I don't want us to separate, but already, the BD moment and conversations have eroded my trust in him. It's not just all about him wanting to be with me. He also needs to demonstrate that he won't get us back in the position where we were previously because of a failure to communicate or his extreme conflict avoidance.
(To be fair, I can also be bad with this, but not to the same extreme.)
My husband is still gorgeous to me. He's 5'8, has funky teeth, is balding, and lives in jeans and t-shirts. But he is gorgeous.
