New LBS, just reading the forums has been helpful

[Jim1234]

You seem to have a pretty good idea of what GAL entails. Go with those.

I'll warn you, Doodler hits a lot of people with 2X4s, but he's often right, so consider it.

For me emotional distance was not possible until she moved out; even then, it wasn't easy, but it DOES get easier. GAL helps with that.

Personally, I wouldn't have dinner with him, make his appointments, etc. He wants to be separated, and separated people do these things themselves. I see it as having his cake and eating it too. If he wants to see what it's like living alone, let him. It will also help with emotional distance.

About the kids, my S18 is adopted. We have a number of friends with adopted kids, too. It doesn't always go smoothly (but nearly always it does), but I would recommend it to anyone. Just something to think about....

You're getting a lot of good advice. Take it. You may not save your marriage, but even if you don't, you will come out of it a better version of yourself.