Husband gone for second time - 3

[SteveLW]

If anyone wants to see a recon success story, go look up Benito's thread. His original threads had to be archived and moved, but the one that's kicking around still has awesome stuff about how he DB'd and what happened with his story.

Go search for Benito in my watch list and pull up his thread.

Let me add a word of caution here. Benito truly dropped the rope, worked on himself, and gave his W tons of space. And it resulted in recon. Will it last, I surely hope so. I hope Benito comes back and gives an update sometime.

But, J9 also DB'd like a champ and his W didn't waver in her wanting a D. Having followed both of their sitch's closely, and they were in my timeframe as well when I got here, I can tell you that both of them DB'd their hearts out and had different outcomes when it comes to their W's. Does this make J9's journey less impressive? Definitely not! J9 is as much of a success story as Benito.

So, even if you DB completely, you may not have the recon outcome you were hoping for in the time frame you're thinking. Maybe it will happen after D. Maybe it will happen before D.

But what is for sure true about both of them is that they are way better men than when they came here. And that growth will be appreciated by someone.

Don't have recon as the ultimate marker of success - you don't have control over it as you might think. DBing gives you the best chance at it. period.

Extremely well said.