WAS vs MLC...not sure it really matters, part 3

[Gordie]

SKM,

Your H is a conflict avoider. It asks one to know one. It’s easier for him to bring you breakfast or make your bed than to actually talk to you. I bet his love language is acts of service. He is probably trying to show you he cares about you.

But then you don’t respond positively and he says to himself (warning: mind reading), SKM is so ungrateful and it doesn’t make a damn difference if I am trying to make this work, so I’m just going to give up. Thank God she went away for a few days. I can have some peace and quiet. Oh shoot, there she is in the driveway earlier that I expected! Quick u turn. Not ready to deal with her. What do I even say at this point?

How do you deal with a man like this? Who doesn’t know how to say he is sorry? How to be able to discuss difficult things without getting flustered or running away? First, do not initiate R talks. He is still processing things.

Self forgiveness is a good sign but totally get what you are saying. Why isn’t he apologizing and asking you to forgive him? I don’t know. Hopefully he gets there in time but it’s out of your control.