Hey Coly.....thanks for the response smile Hope the 10K training is going well.

You are absolutely right....we are NOT piecing. These boards have taught me so much about how to handle and how NOT to handle situations.....thank goodness. Piecing will require both of us to be in the mind set that we are ready to work on things together. I am not sure if I am ready to do that yet.

When I got home from the beach, H was not home....honestly that was just fine with me. I was unpacking the dogs and the car when I saw his truck coming down the street. I guess he didn't see me in the garage, but I saw him turn around in the street and started going in the opposite direction away from the house.......weird. I waited about 45 minutes and he didn't come back. So, I called him and said "what are you doing, and why did you turn around"............I think he was shocked when I asked him that. His response was "I was not expecting you to be home and I was not ready to see you or speak to you." I offered to pack the dogs back up and my stuff and leave the house so he could come home, but he didn't want that. He asked if I would stay there and he would turn around and we could talk.

We spoke for a long time. He apologized for not speaking to me for all of those days, and said he doesn't know why he acts like that. I told him that we both acted childish during that time, and we both were being stubborn. We spoke about many other things and he agreed to be more open with his communicating. Time will tell.......

Things are a little better, we are speaking more and having daily interaction. But, I am still sleeping in the spare bedroom. I have just finished another long stretch of days at work, so now I will have two days off to rest before heading back.

H continues to deal with feelings and emotions, but has a LONG way to go. He has done the Landmark program, and has also been attending other Landmark sponsored "therapies" ... but as Skyhigh mentioned in an earlier post to me, it is a one sided self analysis. Now, it is definitely better then nothing, but I would like to see him do some IC as well.

H went to church on Easter (I of course was working), but when I got home that night he was discussing the sermon. He said he felt like after hearing the sermon that he was ready to "forgive himself" for what he did, and how he behaved before, during and after the A. I was a bit shocked when I heard him say that. I am not sure if it was because I felt like he should not be the one forgiving himself......I should. I also don't want him to think that he can just forget what he did......but when I think about it, I am not sure if he will ever be able to forgot about what he did because he has to look at me and that is a daily reminder.