Letting go for my own inner peace

[Irish M]

hi guys

Hope you all had a nice Easter.. We had an amazing one, weather was great. I got the girls and myself the Google home system. Each a mini for our rooms and a main home one for the family room. Such an amazing toy. I also got plenty of lights and plugs to control everything with speech. Yes, chocolate was also gifted. The bunny doesn't miss this house. Had the ester egg hunt as usual. D17 says its a tradition that can't be missed.

As for EX news. I'll be honest I struggled with it. Relieved that she is away from the toothless druggy but at the same time disappointed in her for not focusing on the girls instead of a new OM.

I know its expected. They jump from OM to OM in search of that magic to release them from their internal pain. Just a band-aid until either she wakes up or jumps to the next one because this one peeled off.

I also struggled with if I tell the girls or not. I did read all of your replies, Sotto, Job, bttrfly, Gordie, KML, RD, Peace and DnJ.

All great advise and support.

I'll try to respond to each comment within my post.

I did end up telling the girls this morning over waffles. D17 thanked me for telling her as she had been having nightmares that her mom was overdosing in a hospital somewhere because of OM1. D15 was happy toothless guy is gone. But was upset to hear she jumped to another without taking a break and reconnect with them.

So DnJ and KML , yes it relieve them in a way. They started to joke..but dad it is her soul mate.. omg. She was going to buy him teeth

Peace, I told them that exact thing. That their mother will make choices and even though OM1 is gone, OM2 may be short lived and back to OM1 or onto OM3.

RD, As for the other lady poking around about me.. I blocked her and revisited my privacy settings and locked my FB up tight. Even my youtube . I set so many videos to private.

Gordie, I hate knowing her exact address. It's not a town i go to often. More a drive through place when i go to the States. GF told me about seeing her friend that lives there this summer for 2 events. We will most likely pass.

Bttrfly, yes the world is a small place. Scary how small. GF hates that Ex is in her space. Right across the street from her friend who is practically her sister. Her friend promised not to let her talk about us and say crap. She will shut her down.

She moved into his house Job, he does small jobs around town for money. His house is a dump, run down. Economy is really bad in that area. The mill shut down years ago and no other industry picked up the slack. He is in the mid 40's but looks late 50's. Wears dirty clothes and never washes his hair.

EX was obsessed by the TV show Shameless when she hit BD. Long before BD she hated the show because of all the drugs, booze and trashy story. But a few weeks before BD, she would binge watch it. I really think she is living that life.

Hey Sotto, girls have decided not to contact her. They said and I quote.
If she thinks just because toothless is gone we will run to her its a no. She needs to live alone. Heal and get strong. work through this. Not drag us into a loser life just because she is our mom. She doesn't deserve the mom title. Mothers don't do this. Its wrong - D17

What a joke. She knew we wanted toothless gone. Why didn't she come to us. So she left because she didn't want to be a mom and not because she found her soul mate.. nice. just like her mother. D17 if you ever act like that I am hitting you over the head with a bat. D15

so the day goes on and I get this message from EX. Says to me that she hopes the girls contact her . Her number is in the paper where she works if they want to reach out.

I tell her. We don't get that paper but yes the girls are old enough to find you through the internet and your email is the same. I'm out of the loop on that one , sorry.

I know you know I am in new town.

Well its a small world. The girls know as well. Nothing to hide here. Sad you didn't take a break and fix you and the girls first.

No reply, so let her sit on that.


Oh the joys of MLC. Just when you think it was at its worst, it shows you more.