My question for you Cadet, in regards to the piece I quoted, is "making you into a person that only a fool would leave" and "not to try to attract him back" seem like conflicting statements. You are making yourself attractive so no one would leave, including him. I get the idea that the change is for yourself and not the other person, but at the end of the day how do you separate the fact that all this is brought on during an effort to win them back?
Well I understand how you could be confused, change, especially 180's are hard.
Let me also say that your changes must be real because if they are not real they will not stick and they also will be tested to see if they are real.
As far as your effort to win them back, let me just say that you are the most motivated at this time so DB'ing is counter intuitive. What you think you should do is likely the exact opposite of what you do.
Read the pursuit and distance thread as that will possibly help you to understand some of this.
