Bye bye limbo -- it's time for a change

[mleigh4]

Hi there,
Bttrfly, you hit it on target. The lawyer and all the legal mumbo jumbo she brought up had me a little anxious, but the way I calmed myself was by remembering that I am in control. Thank goodness because I can see how lawyers can turn a calm situation into a battle. She had a real hard time believing that H and I are so amicable. I remembered what you said, to go in knowing what you want. I am keeping it that simple. She was helpful in reminding me what is really important ....

When H checked out on our marriage and finally left, S and I rebuilt our life and our home. We are truly happy, our world is calm, and that peace is more important than anything else. We have the gift of staying in our home and not dealing with finding a place in this crazy market, that is all I hoped for.

Job, I am glad I saw her too. Hopefully things will go smooth through this process, but at least I have her to fall back on if it doesnt, and believe me, H would not want that because she is a bulldog.

Today I had my follow up appt with paralegal. I was prepared to sign petition and file. We talked a bit, about the process, about lawyers. She asked questions and agreed it sounds like me and H basically agree on things and that I seem to know what I do and don't want. She said to save time and money and keep it simple, me and H can sit down, go over all aspects we agree on and write it down. She will prepare the agreement, we both go in and sign it, and she attaches it to the petition to file. No court, no lawyers, simple. Exactly what we want.

So that is the plan. I continue to do my research, talk to people, hear other divorce stories, and will reach out to the lawyer if I have any questions....but I am pretty confident in where I am at. I have had enough time to tell what feels right and what doesn't.

S and I are on spring break this weekend. We go to a rented beach condo tomorrow for a couple of nights, with dog of course. Definitely in need of some soul soothing!

Had dinner with some friends the other night and was told I should be over this by now. I gotta tell you, those comments still really sting, but I have learned how to brush it off. I am very proud of myself for taking my time, for taking the time to heal, for not rushing into any major decisions, for making sure there was not a chance of reconciliation keeping my side of the street clean....sadly those 2 friends can't say the same in their own divorce history.

I intend to catch up this week on the boards, I hope everyone is well.
M