Ciluzen, Thank you for taking the time to write that all out. What you say is 100% correct... I want to believe that we are all sensitive beings and our actions are a reflection of hurt. And soooo much of this is about unmet needs.... Needs that we can't even verbalize or consciously acknowledge most of the time. Thank you again for sharing your knowledge and perspective.
So, ex wants to bifurcate the marriage now so he can return to single status ahead of the divorce actually being processed. There's a chance we're going to go to trial over our joint assets because he's trying to prove I don't own my house even though I'm on the deed and the mortgage. He's trying to show that my money only went towards household expenses and not the house therefore I have no rights to it. Ps-I am in a community property state and if the above is true.... That was NEVER an agreement we had.... He just had some super magical accounting since he managed all the bills.
So, as of now, he wants to burfucate the marriage so he can move on past this horribly emotional thing.
And I'm left scratching my head. This is what he wanted... Why is he still blaming me? I was the one (shamefully) begging trying to keep us together and HE is he one who can't play in the sandbox he created for himself.
I go crazy wondering if it's true or not. Does he actually feel hurt? Is this just a manipulation? (Probably yes- it's a total manipulation) but If it's real pain, is there anything I can do to provide clarity? I know I can't solve his problems for him, but in real life I would never ever deliberately cause pain to someone. And I do wonder if he feels he made a mistake with all this and will never be able to own up to it.... So he just has to create the destruction to justify his feelings. Our divorce has become a runaway train.
Either way.... It's really tough.... And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
