No affair, no feelings...is there hope?

[Olya]

I'm with everyone else! Why in God's name are you alternating beds with her!? If she is not comfortable sleeping with you, then she needs to make her own arrangements, and that includes moving her clothes and dresser to another room, if she feels she must. By herself. You can love her and care for her without condoning or participating in her efforts to end your marriage. Do not throw yourself across the bedroom threshold to keep her from moving to the guest room permanently, but do give her the opportunity to learn what life alone will be like. This means that she will be leaving a place where she feels at home and she will be doing it all on her own. Your bedroom is like a small preview of that.

Now, you DO NOT say any of this to her. This is for you to keep in mind.

What you do tell her is that the other bed is hurting your back and that you are no longer willing to keep alternating. You want your bedroom back and you fully understand if she is not comfortable staying there with you.