WW in MLC affair and I need advice..

[Natash]

Maybe my best advice is to assure you that this wild euphoric stay-out-all-night stage can't last forever. Even if your wife is out with OM eventually reality will hit when she and OM face problems in their relationship or when she starts to see how it's affecting her children. Maybe right now she's blinded by love for OM which is just so totally unfair to you and your kids, but if you want to potentially reconcile or keep your family together it seems you're doing the right things and by being patient you should eventually see your wife becoming more rational in weeks or months.

Thank you Nicole for the kind words and your advice on the time frame this situation will last was helpful to me this morning. After reading that, I said shes right. This wont last forever. I can do this.

My DIL was a WW. As a grandmother of little girls, I can see your MIL trying to assure her grandchildren........more than covering for the WW

Thank you for the reply Sandi. This thought did cross my mind and I do believe that is what she was probably doing as I highly doubt she knew what (or who) her daughter was actually doing. My MIL loves my girls and they love her back. I'd say the each mean the world to each other and my MIL had been texting me often wondering how things are going and hoping for improvements. I did have to tell her the last time, about a month ago, that I wish I could share my thoughts and opinions with her but my W was already upset (that the MIL was reaching out to me and not her own daughter..and I dont blame my W for being upset about this.

On a different note, I've been following some other threads and when I read this one (below) I felt like every word you spoke to rminer and his situation is exactly like my situation. I never sit still and am always working on the house or something (until BD). My wife has told me that she feels like she is not appreciated at all, she feels like the family maid, and I thought she hadn't contributed to the success of our family.

My question is, when I read this and feel so much like you are speaking about my situation should I follow the advice you give to someone else in a same situation as myself?

As you've previously explained, you spent every spare minute working on something. If your W has felt neglected, not heard, not validated, and you didn't show her attentivness, then I think this her way of trying to tell you. A woman is like a flower. If you don't tend to her emotional needs, she'll turn ugly and die. I think you focused on working too much, and you started tuning out the things you considered as unimportant. One of worst habits a H can do is not listening to his W. It is so rude! Whether or not it's important to you......it was to her, and she is trying to connect to her H. If he won't listen to unimportant things, why would she want to share that which is intimate and personal with him? Having a H who doesn't hear her, destroys a woman's sense of value! It's the beginning of making her feel unappreciated, unimportant, and unloved by her H.

So, hopefully, you are improving in those areas^^^^^^^^. She wants you to show her she is still that special girl that has your heart. She wants you to do some action that simply says you care.........like cleaning up the dog mess. Listen, I think she wants and needs just the two of you to share in some activity that is not classified as "working". You know......like a few decades ago before all the kids came along?

I am not defending a woman who turns to another man while she is still M. But, I have to ask why you think she turned to someone else? She wants you to not only validate her, but praise her when she does something well. Notice her when she looks extra pretty. Share yourself with her. I think when a couple stops having pillow talk, they lose something very special in their relationship. I think her actions have been horrible toward you, but I also think she has tried to get your attention. I hope you are hearing me loud and clear.