So, I think I am reaching a place of loving detachment. Something interesting happened.
I was dropping off the kids at W's today and she messaged me to let her know when we were leaving - which at first glance I thought was odd. Why would she want to know when we left my place? I was going to be at her place in a certain time window that she knew about. Instead of getting annoyed by it I decided to just investigate my feelings and thoughts with curiosity.
Some things that came to my mind:
1. Maybe she needs to clean up all the wine bottles and beer cans from a party last night so it's all clean for the kids. 2. She needs to kick out the guy who stayed over night before we get there. 3. She needs to have a quick morning sex session before the kids get there. 4. She's become super time organized and needs to know exactly when we'll be at her doorstep to plan her day accordingly.
I couldn't think of any other options, but I am sure doodler will if he ever gets to this. I just kinda laughed at all those thoughts and asked myself why it would bother me? I asked myself if I was ready to jump in bed with her and the answer to that was a clear no. So, if she's bangin' some dude, why should I care if it happened last night or if there was some quickie action going on before we got there. So what if she partied last night.
Anyways, the point of this is that I just realized that I am not actually annoyed about this anymore as it's her own life and she can do what she wants. I know my boundaries and that's good enough.
After this thought process, I just chuckled to myself and went about my day. Still not sure why she send me that message, and it doesn't matter.
If I was totally detached, I wouldn't have gone through this mental process, so I know I still have some ways to go. But, not being sucked into mind reading games and being calm and cool has provided a great relief.
