Updates are getting less and less but as I started my sitch in June of 2017 I want to continue updating until the D is final.
Had a good week with the girls last week. Nothing earth shattering just school, practices and soccer games. Friday night they wanted to bake a cake so we did that and then we had soccer on Saturday. Went over to a buddy of mine's house on Saturday night who is divorced. He had his kid for the weekend so the kids played while we just sat around and chatted. Took the girls shopping for their Easter dresses as well and put together their baskets for yesterday morning. I don't have them this week but will get to see them on Tuesday and Thursday as they have soccer games.
Easter went well, they woke up at 5 am yesterday morning excited to see if the Easter bunny had came. So needless to say they filled up on a bunch of junk! Our neighbor came over and took some pictures of us before church so that was cool and then we went to church. After church we went to a big Easter egg hunt and then over to a friends house for Easter dinner and then the W picked then up last night around 7.
I sent the W an email about a week ago letting her know what the plans were for Easter and she was welcome to join us if she wanted. She never responded or acknowledged what I sent. Yesterday morning she texted some Easter picture to me and I sent her back a picture of the girls dressed up in their dresses I had bought and then we coordinated pick up times for yesterday. I thought about inviting her again but decided not to. She knew what we were doing and if she really wanted to be a part of it all she had to do was ask. It didn't bother me in the slightest but I was disappointed for my girls. The W ended up going shopping all day looking for items for her new condo.
Other than that things are calm between us. We go back to court on 4/12, which is next Thursday and then our D will be final. I am excited for this to be over with and my W is excited about her new condo. The dialogue between my W and I is still very cordial, I never pry into what she is doing and only know what she is willing to share which is whatever she brings up in conversation.
I wish she was more involved with the girls than what she is. She showed up 30 min late to our oldest daughters game on Saturday. She sent me a text letting me know which was cool but I didn't say anything to her about it as it's not my place. I have also started to notice that the oldest is starting to ask me if mommy will be coming or attending certain activities. When it is my week to have them she generally doesn't see them, she does go to their games but never attends their practices. If there is a school function then we attend together but that doesn't happen all the time. She didn't have them on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve or Day, New Years and now Easter either. Obviously I will take my girls whenever I can get them but it does concern me that they have not been with her for a holiday. Her choice and it's not because she didn't have an opportunity to do so.
I am probably projecting some but I know it is not my place to say anything to her so I will just continue to provide all the support I can. My girls need their mom and I just hope they are getting what they need.
While I am down about this overall I am feeling great. Still hitting the gym, exercising, eating right, feeling healthy, meeting friends out when I can, still reading, attending church, looking forward to the summer for boating season and in general in a really good place physically, spiritually and emotionally.
I know their has been a lot of discussion lately about people being disappointed with DBing. I thought for sure if anyone was going to save their MR it was going to be me. Unfortunately I was not able to save it but I did something else which was save myself. Some where on this journey that became more important to me.
She is not my possession, I don't own her, I don't control her, she is free to do whatever she wants. I let my W go with love and peace, not in hate, anger or bitterness. We can only control ourselves and can't force anyone back into a MR that they don't want to be in. Turn yourself into a spouse that only a fool would leave but do it for yourself with no expectations. Dbing is for us the LBS, maybe you save your MR maybe you don't but hopefully you save yourself and you just don't survive but you thrive.
Do the right thing, stick to your values, your beliefs. Don't be hateful, react out of anger, be vindictive. The battle is not with your spouse but rather with yourself.
